Iyanla Vanzant, one of my favourite authors said that forgiveness is a powerful act of self love and self discovery, forgiveness does not erase the memory of an experience but it neutralises its impact. The deepest healing occurs when you can forgive what you have told yourself about someone else. Forgiveness is a process that supports the unfolding of the authentic self.
Somehow we were taught that if we don’t forgive and hold on to grudges, we believe that others will be affected by it. They have hurt us and we want to hurt them by remaining upset and angry.
This is so not true, the anger and holding on to any negative emotions and grudges will only hurt the person who is holding on to this emotion and we need to forgive everyone and ourselves for holding on to grudges and for believing that holding on grudges means retaliating.
Forgiveness has nothing to do with forgetting the event and losing the memory but releasing the emotions around the memory so you can cleanse your energy to create something different in your life. Yes, it might sound weird at the moment and you can’t clearly comprehend how one can remove an emotion around an event that made you upset, angry, sad and hurt. What i can tell you is, yes you can but you have to be committed to wanting to feel better.
I have also hear many people saying that i have forgiven, but really forgiveness when done, you feel some sense of peace, you cannot have forgiven and still have painful memories when thinking about the issue you have forgiven. This should be an indication to show you if you have forgiven in the true sense of forgivenss.
Forgiveness is not letting the person over the hook so that no justice is required. Dr Ben Colbert in his book Deadly Emotions said that a forgiving person can still require a person to appear in court or face legal penalties for a crime committed. Forgiveness is releasing layers of hurt and heals the raw jagged edges of emotional pain. Forgiveness cleanses and frees the entrapped soul; it is an act of self-love. We must also remember that whilst it takes two people to reconcile, it takes only one person to forgive.
We need not tell the people we blame that we have forgiven them, we do not need their approval to forgive and we certainly not need to forgive for their sake, but our own sake. Forgiveness has health benefits, we all know that it is the stress in our bodies that cause us (diseases) dis-easiness. We all know that when you go to the doctor, they tell you to go home, book you off work and tell you to rest and not stress. Many times however we tell other people to not bring us stress, other people are just living their lives and it is our responsibility to keep ourselves calm and unstressed. We cannot go around telling people not live their lives because they might just stress us.
Iyanla Vanzant has a 21 day forgiveness diet process, if you really want to change your life and release all hurt and emotional pain, take a pen and paper, and journal as much as you can. You can start with "I {your name} forgive {the name of the person who wronged} for having done {whatever they have done}. Repeat the sentence, rephrase the sentence in a way that resonates with you and do this everyday for 21 days. You are worth it.
For now, i leave you with a forgiveness EFT video to help you know how to use EFT for forgiveness. I can promise you that being angry with someone hurts you way more than the person you are angry with.
Somehow we were taught that if we don’t forgive and hold on to grudges, we believe that others will be affected by it. They have hurt us and we want to hurt them by remaining upset and angry.
This is so not true, the anger and holding on to any negative emotions and grudges will only hurt the person who is holding on to this emotion and we need to forgive everyone and ourselves for holding on to grudges and for believing that holding on grudges means retaliating.
Forgiveness has nothing to do with forgetting the event and losing the memory but releasing the emotions around the memory so you can cleanse your energy to create something different in your life. Yes, it might sound weird at the moment and you can’t clearly comprehend how one can remove an emotion around an event that made you upset, angry, sad and hurt. What i can tell you is, yes you can but you have to be committed to wanting to feel better.
I have also hear many people saying that i have forgiven, but really forgiveness when done, you feel some sense of peace, you cannot have forgiven and still have painful memories when thinking about the issue you have forgiven. This should be an indication to show you if you have forgiven in the true sense of forgivenss.
Forgiveness is not letting the person over the hook so that no justice is required. Dr Ben Colbert in his book Deadly Emotions said that a forgiving person can still require a person to appear in court or face legal penalties for a crime committed. Forgiveness is releasing layers of hurt and heals the raw jagged edges of emotional pain. Forgiveness cleanses and frees the entrapped soul; it is an act of self-love. We must also remember that whilst it takes two people to reconcile, it takes only one person to forgive.
We need not tell the people we blame that we have forgiven them, we do not need their approval to forgive and we certainly not need to forgive for their sake, but our own sake. Forgiveness has health benefits, we all know that it is the stress in our bodies that cause us (diseases) dis-easiness. We all know that when you go to the doctor, they tell you to go home, book you off work and tell you to rest and not stress. Many times however we tell other people to not bring us stress, other people are just living their lives and it is our responsibility to keep ourselves calm and unstressed. We cannot go around telling people not live their lives because they might just stress us.
Iyanla Vanzant has a 21 day forgiveness diet process, if you really want to change your life and release all hurt and emotional pain, take a pen and paper, and journal as much as you can. You can start with "I {your name} forgive {the name of the person who wronged} for having done {whatever they have done}. Repeat the sentence, rephrase the sentence in a way that resonates with you and do this everyday for 21 days. You are worth it.
For now, i leave you with a forgiveness EFT video to help you know how to use EFT for forgiveness. I can promise you that being angry with someone hurts you way more than the person you are angry with.